Soooooooo this past weekend I went to Hickory North Carolina for an orientation for incoming freshman. It was great!! I got to meet my future roomie who i KNOW i will love and get along with just fine. ;D I walked around and familiarized myself with the campus, ate in the dining center, and just had a good ol' time.
I also had my music audition that day and that was a massive nerve enhancing moment. I got so scared I actually started to cry in the practice room. This audition determined if I got in the music department, if i get into the a Capella choir, and if i get scholarship money. I was shaking, crying, so nervous before the audition. I did though get to talk to another high school senior and we both calmed ourselves down a bit, but then we got a little worried since my audition ran late. Over 20 minutes late. When they finally came out and called my name I wanted to run away. But instead I walked into that room and sang The Water is Wide and Ave Maria.
Something amazing that I got to so was spend the day with a college student who was majoring in music education and spend the night in her dorm room with her! I got to sit in an a Capella choir practice, she took me to a mexican subway pretty much called Salsaritas, and I sat in the lobby talking to all these college students and it was awesome!! I slept on an ait mattress and talked to both girls about Greek Life because they were both a part of a sorority and I have been kinda thinking about it. Then the next morning I sat in a aural studies class and that was an experience.
The whole experience was wonderful! But of course something bad has to happen to me cause that's just what happens. I never really got a chance to text Ben through the day and night because I was so busy, I told him what I was doing and that night I turned off my phone to go to bed. But then the roomie of the dorm i was staying in brought 2 friends with her and we stayed up talking until midnight. I didn't get the chance to text him back at all until the morning. That's when I got two rather meanish sounding texts from Ben about me going to bed before calling him, i texted him I was sorry but he was still annoyed at me. So i ignored it and went to breakfast. After breakfast I was walking to class with the girl I stayed with and we sat down ready for class. I pulled out my phone to quick text Ben what I was doing when I got a REALLY mean text from him about how I didn't dare call him before going to sleep when I never had the chance. I got pissed and didn't answer him. Then about halfway during class he texts me again twice saying how he understands that this is how it's gonna be and that I'm never gonna text him, call him or anything. That I'm going to ignore him at school and he won't see me unless he comes to me. Pretty much being super asshole. I almost cried right there in the middle of the class.
So after class I called him, massively bitched him out and then bust into tears. I cried and screamed at him for over 30 minutes in front of my uncles house. Then my mom walked outside and found me in a shitty state just bawling my eyes out. I was hurt so bad... I don't think I can even describe the pain I was feeling it was that bad. Because he did ALL of that to me last year but NEVER told me why or what he was doing. I DID!!! Not my fault he forgot... anyways I told him that if anything like that happens again I'm done. I've been hurt so much I don't think I can take anymore. Yes I know he must be hurting too and I know he's been through a lot, but he doesn't have to use me as a punching bag and i am NOT letting him walk over me ANYMORE!!!! I'm so sick of it!! It's just not right...
Anyhow we talked, things are okayish... I took off my promise ring though. I don't wanna wear it now... I can't see it on my finger without feeling torn to bits that the Ben that gave me that promise ring I don't see much of anymore. So I currently have it on a chain around my neck, I'll put it back on when I feel that my Ben is back for good and not this new assholeish Ben I have been dating for a year and a half. Sorry that was a bit of a rant there... haha
Anyhows that was my trip. I hope things get better for me and I am DYING to know how my audition went.
Love and Kisses, Anna <3
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